Brenda Casteleyn

Hoe angst overwinnen: citaat

Hoe je angst overwint: Tips voor persoonlijke groei

Brenda Casteleyn

“Let fear be a counselor and not a jailer.” – Anthony Robbins

The knot in your stomach, the clammy sweat, the feeling that you might throw up... What are you afraid of? And what if that fear is holding you back from doing what you really want to do? Unfortunately, I speak from experience. For years, I was afraid to pursue my dreams because I thought I wasn't 'good enough' yet. As a result, I stayed stuck in preparation mode and didn't dare to go for it. Now, with my third book published, I look back in amazement and realize how simple it actually was to overcome my fears. You just need to remember how you were as a baby. I'd like to share some tips with you.

1. Channel Your Inner Baby

Remember how you took your first steps as a baby. Were you afraid of falling then? Did you tell yourself that you could never do it? No, you just kept falling and getting back up until you could do it. Use that determination as inspiration to overcome your fears.

Tip: Take small, manageable steps towards your goal. Every small step forward is a victory, even if you sometimes fall.

2. Follow an Example

Babies always have an example of how to do something and have a sort of radar to mimic it. You can do the same by visualizing yourself doing it wonderfully. Try to see, feel, and smell it with all your senses. Your brain doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality, and this will activate certain neural pathways that help you face your fears. It might sound strange, but it really helps.

Tip: Visualize your success and imagine how you achieve your goal. Use all your senses to make the experience real.

3. Change Your Posture

By adopting the right posture, you'll start to feel different too. When someone feels bad, they slump their shoulders. But it works the other way around too; just by straightening your back, you'll start to feel better. Stand up straight, take a deep breath, and smile. This sends positive signals to your brain and can reduce your fear.

Tip: Use a powerful body posture to boost your self-confidence. Try the 'power pose' and notice the difference.

4. Just Start

A baby doesn't start with a detailed action plan in mind; they just go for it and learn what works through trial and error. Along the way, they will often fall, but each fall is an indication to adjust their method. This doesn't mean you shouldn't prepare; you can research how to approach something, but don't get stuck in preparation.

Tip: Just begin. Take that first step, no matter how small, and learn from your experiences.

5. Seek Support

The encouragement of friends and family is crucial. They help you celebrate your victories. Have you ever seen a mother tell her child, 'What a loser you are, trying to walk for the third time and still failing'? No, every small step is celebrated enthusiastically. Gather your personal cheerleaders: friends, family, colleagues—everyone who can encourage and inspire you. Even your neighbor with his dog can give you that extra boost of confidence.

Tip: Ask for support from your personal cheerleaders. Their encouragement can give you that extra push you need.

6. Celebrate Your Successes

This tip builds on the previous one. Make sure to celebrate every small step in the right direction, no matter how insignificant it may seem. We sometimes have the tendency to compare our steps to the final result and see how we fall short. A baby doesn't do that; they are happy with every extra step. By celebrating your success, you boost your self-confidence and create new neural pathways to success.

Tip: Celebrate every small victory. It helps you stay motivated and builds your self-confidence.

7. Use Positive Self-Talk

Think about how you would talk to a baby learning to walk. Talk to yourself in the same way: you are 'amazing' and you can do it. Think about the small and large achievements you've already accomplished in your life; this will help you realize how amazing you are, how amazing we all are. Keep doing this until you firmly believe it.

Tip: Talk positively to yourself. Repeat affirmations like "I can do this" and "I am strong."

In Conclusion

Fear can often hold us back from doing what we really want. But with these seven tips, you can overcome your fears and take action. Remember, it's not about eliminating fear entirely but working through it and coming out stronger on the other side. So next time you're faced with something you're afraid of, laugh at it, use these tips, and go for it!

What are your experiences with overcoming fear? Share your stories and tips in the comments below!

#OvercomeYourFear #PersonalGrowth #Motivation #ConquerFear #ButterflyEffects

De kracht van visualisatie

The Power of Visualization: How Your Dreams Become Reality

Brenda Casteleyn

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.” –  Oprah Winfrey

Have you ever fantasized about achieving your biggest dreams? Whether it's success in your career, improving personal relationships, or achieving athletic performance, visualization can be the key to realizing them. From top athletes to successful entrepreneurs, many have harnessed the power of visualization to reach their goals. But how can you effectively use this powerful tool in your own life?

The First Step: Acknowledge Your Dreams

My own journey with visualization began when I had the courage to admit that I actually wanted to become an author. For years, I told myself I didn't know enough, which kept me stuck in my comfort zone. Recognizing your true dreams is the crucial first step. Without acknowledgment, your dreams remain just that—dreams.

Visualize Your Future

Imagine what your life looks like when your dream has become reality. Who are you in five years? What does your day look like, what are you doing, and who are you talking to? Make this a vivid, sensory experience. Use all your senses to bring this vision of the future to life.

The Power of Sensory Visualization

Why is sensory visualization so effective? Research shows that our brains cannot well distinguish between a real experience and an imagined one. By imagining that your dream is already a reality, your brain begins to look for evidence to support it, which helps you to actually realize your dream. It's like when you buy a new car and suddenly notice that many others have the same brand. When your focus is directed somewhere, you notice it more. Through visualization, you also start to notice more opportunities that help you make your dream come true.

The Example of Michael Phelps

A prime example of the effectiveness of visualization comes from Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps. His coach, Bob Bowman, taught him the 'videotape' technique, where Phelps would visualize every race in detail before going to sleep and upon waking. He visualized every stroke, turn, and finish as if he were playing a movie. This method prepared him for all possible scenarios during competitions, contributing to his exceptional performances and making him the most decorated Olympian of all time.

But it doesn't have to be that spectacular. I myself have successfully used visualization in the past to, for example, be nerve-free during exams or presentations.

Practical Exercises for Daily Use

A simple daily exercise can be to spend five minutes each morning or evening visualizing your success. Imagine celebrating your victories, the challenges you've overcome, and the satisfaction you feel. Make sure you use all your senses in this exercise to trick your brain into believing it's real.

Start Today!

Why not start today using visualization to realize your dreams? Take five minutes of your day to imagine your biggest goals as if they have already been achieved. With this powerful method, you are well on your way to unlocking your potential and making your dreams come true. Remember: visualizing is more than just daydreaming; it is an active step towards personal transformation.

In Conclusion

After reading about the power of visualization, what dream would you like to visualize? Share your dream in the comments below and let us know how you plan to use these visualization techniques to achieve your goal. What is the first small step you can take today to get closer to your dream?

What are Your Keystone Habits

Brenda Casteleyn

“Motivation is what gets you startet. Habit is what keeps you going.” (Jim Ryun)

You undoubtedly have many good and bad habits, and you know how difficult it is to change them. Charles Duhigg argues that we especially need to understand our ‘keystone habits’. These are so crucial that when they change, a whole series of other patterns shift along with them. They are, in a sense, levers on which everything else hangs.

Example of a Keystone Habit

Take, for instance, the habit of making your bed every morning. It may seem like a small action, but it can trigger a chain reaction of productivity and enhanced well-being. It's not directly the making of the bed itself that causes these effects, but it indirectly sets off other positive habits.

Insights from Research

Duhigg emphasizes the importance of keystone habits with research. For example, it has been shown that in families where it is customary to have a family dinner together, children generally perform better at school, manage their emotions better, and have more self-confidence.

Strategische aanpak om gewoontes te veranderen

Instead of focusing on eliminating bad habits, it might be more effective to identify and improve your keystone habits. Because if you change something there, you suddenly have the key to change everything else… if you want to, of course. For instance, if you establish a habit of exercising more, you may find that you also start eating healthier and watching less television. Beware, the reverse can also happen: you have the habit of snacking which might lead you to laze around on the couch instead of exercising. Identifying and tackling such negative keystone habits can be just as important.

Hoe identificeer je sleutelgewoontes?

Start thinking about habits that have a major impact on various aspects of your life. Ask yourself questions like:

  • Which habit, if I changed it, would have the greatest impact on other habits?
  • Are there recurring actions that distinguish days when I am successful from less successful days?

In Conclusion

Reflect on these insights and think about the keystone habits you would like to develop or change. What other (bad) habits might disappear as a result? Share your insights and stories.

Leestips:

  • Duhigg Charles, The Power of Habit, Why We Do What We Do and How to Change it, Random House, 2012.
  • Dr. Casteleyn Brenda, Hoe was je dag? 50 Inspirerende wandelingen voor meer diepgang in je relaties, Borgerhoff & Lamberigts, Gent, 2021, blz. 68-69.
Wereld Lach Dag: 5 Manieren Waarop Lachen Jouw Leven Verrijkt

World Laughter Day: 5 Ways Laughing Enriches Your Life

Brenda Casteleyn

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

Laughing does more than just brighten your day; it has powerful effects on both your physical and mental health. World Laughter Day is the perfect opportunity to explore the many benefits of a good laugh session. Here are five ways laughter can enrich your life:

1. Laughter Improves Your Physical Health

Lachen verhoogt de zuurstoftoevoer, stimuleert je hart en longen, en activeert en ontspant je spieren. Het verlaagt stresshormonen en verhoogt de immuuncellen, wat jouw weerstand tegen ziekten verbetert. En wist je dat je door te lachen al je spieren in je gelaat aanspreekt. Het maakt je dus ook jonger.

2. Laughter Strengthens Your Relationships

Lachen is een universele taal die mensen samenbrengt. Een lach delen kan helpen nieuwe vriendschappen te smeden en bestaande relaties te versterken door een positieve, gedeelde ervaring te bieden. Misschien was je levensgezel ook diegene die je vaak liet lachen?

3. Laughter Boosts Your Mental Health

Laughing can help reduce anxiety and stress and alleviate symptoms of depression by boosting the production of serotonin, a natural feel-good chemical. Did you know that it's nearly impossible to feel down when you are laughing?

4. Laughter Builds Your Self-Confidence

Lachen kan jouw zelfvertrouwen opbouwen. Het helpt je om minder angstig te zijn in sociale situaties en maakt je meer benaderbaar en aantrekkelijk voor anderen. Wist je overigens dat het bijna onmogelijk is om je down te voelen als je lacht?

5. Laughter Enhances Your Response to Pain

Regular laughter can decrease your perception of pain by releasing the body’s natural painkillers, making it easier to handle physical discomfort.

In Conclusion

So, laughter is not only a source of joy but also plays a crucial role in both your mental and physical health. If you want to do something special this World Laughter Day, consider joining a laughter yoga session offered by Katrien Meys, an expert in laughter yoga atWandel met Gevoel She offers a wide range of options, from individual sessions to special team-building activities for companies, all designed to reduce stress and promote happiness through the power of laughter. She also offers forest walks in the soothing nature. Moreover, for those who want a taste first, freebies are available. Find out more about her sessions and how to participate on her website: Wandel met Gevoel.

What are your experiences with laughter as a way to improve your health and happiness? Share your stories in the comments below!

Joseph McClendon ervaring

The Greatness in Each of Us: Three-Day Journey with Joseph McClendon III"

Brenda Casteleyn

“Each and every one of us possesses a seed of greatness inside of us that beacons to be discovered and used.” – Joseph McClendon III

After an enlightening experience with Tony Robbins  where I confronted my limiting beliefs, I was ready for the next step. This year brought me to another impressive figure and friend of Tony Robbins: Joseph McClendon III. His titles are numerous - neuropsychiatrist, university lecturer, and top performance coach - but none do justice to the energy he radiates on stage (despite being 70 years old), an energy I first experienced alongside Tony Robbins.

Diving into Excellence

Where Tony Robbins' events focus on limiting beliefs and the question, 'am I good enough?', the event with Joseph immersed us in the world of unlimited possibilities. His approach? A powerful reprogramming of the brain to pave our path to excellence. It wasn't just about changing thoughts, but about a holistic journey through life, where we reconnected with our true self - a self that might have been led astray by trauma or sorrow.

An Intimate Community of Transformation

Unlike Tony's massive events, this seminar took place in the heart of Amsterdam and attracted a more intimate group - just 300 participants. The smaller scale provided room for personal interaction, deep questions, and a direct exchange of energy that's only possible in such a setting. The testimonies of transformations were not only inspiring; they were living proof of what's possible when we chase our dreams.

Dreams in Action

These three days were more than an event; they were a springboard into action. We received not only techniques to chase our dreams but also proof that it's possible. It was as if each story, each shared experience, further revealed our own potential and cleared the way for the reality of our dreams.

The Way Forward

With a head full of knowledge and a heart full of gratitude, I have returned from my journey with Joseph McClendon III. The echoes of the lessons will resonate with every step I take. The path ahead of us is open, ripe with the promise of personal growth and the fulfillment of our deepest ambitions.

In Conclusion

When was the last time you truly listened to your inner call? What steps are you taking to realize your dreams on the path of your own magnificent journey?

Drie sleutels tot authenticiteit

The Three Keys to Authenticity

Brenda Casteleyn

“"Be yourself. There are already so many others." - Loesje” – Loesje

In a world filled with social media and constant comparisons, the quest for authenticity is more relevant than ever. Stephen Joseph, a leading psychologist, emphasizes that true authenticity consists of three core facets: self-awareness, autonomy, and integrity in our actions and choices. But what do these facets mean for your daily life, and how can you apply them to live your most authentic self?

In my book 'Hoe was je dag' I invite you to explore your authentic self along with a walking partner. But you can also sort everything out for yourself.

Key 1. Self-Awareness: The Foundation of Everything

Self-awareness is the foundation of authenticity. It is a profound understanding of who you are, including your passions, fears, strengths, and weaknesses. This requires time and reflection. Questions like "What did I enjoy doing as a child?" or "When did I recently feel completely myself?" can shed light on your true nature and desires.

Key 2. Autonomy: Taking Control of Your Life

Authenticity also means being in charge of your own life. This involves making choices that align with your personal values, not those imposed by others. It takes courage to follow your own path, especially when it deviates from the expectations of others. So, ask yourself who has control over your life. Who possibly determines (along with you)? And what do you do to navigate your own course?

Key 3. Integrity: Living in Accordance with Your Values

The last facet, integrity, is about acting in accordance with your values and beliefs. This means staying true to yourself in your actions, words, and decisions. It is the authentic self that comes out in everything we do. So, ask yourself if you are being yourself or do you too often play a role? Do you follow your passions?

How Do You Know You're Authentic?

The path to authenticity is personal and unique. It requires self-reflection, and that's not always easy. Do you want to be confronted with who you are, what you want, or would you rather let sleeping dogs lie? Authentic living also requires an act of courage, not only to get to know yourself but also to stand up for yourself and claim your own authentic life.

Authenticity as a Philosophy of Life

Authenticity is more than a trend; it's a philosophy of life. Embracing the three facets enables you to lead a life that is rich and fulfilling, true to yourself, and resonant with your deepest desires and values.

In Conclusion

In our current time, where it's easy to get lost in the crowd and live according to others' expectations, authenticity offers a compass for personal freedom and self-expression. Let us, therefore, strive for a life in which we can fully embrace our authentic selves, thereby cultivating a deeper connection with ourselves and the world around us.

How authentic do you live? And what does authenticity mean to you?

Reading tip: Joseph Stephen, Authentic: How to be yourself and why it matters, 2017.

The Power of Quotes

The Power of Quotes

Brenda Casteleyn

"Quotes are medicine for the brain." – Brenda Casteleyn

Ik ben gek op citaten want ik ontdekte de kracht van citaten al heel snel. Heel wat beroemde schrijvers, acteurs, zangers en andere bekendheden hebben citaten verzonnen. Maar ik vind het ook leuk om er zelf te verzinnen.  En dat is meer dan alleen een leuke hobby, want citaten hebben een diepgaande impact op mijn leven gehad. Zo herinner ik me een periode waarin ik me vaak ergerde aan kleine, financiële ongemakken, zoals verkeerd terugbetaald worden in de winkel. Toen hoorde ik iemand zeggen: ‘ik maak me nooit meer druk over geld’. Niet zo geslaagd als citaat misschien, maar het bleef bij mij hangen en sindsdien begon ik die zin als een soort mantra te gebruiken. En het had een enorm effect. Langzaamaan kon ik een meer ontspannen houding aannemen ten opzichte van geld. Ik hoef me nu niet meer benadeeld te voelen als er weer eens een financiële tegenslag is, want… ‘ik maak me niet meer druk om geld’. Daarnaast gebruikte ik citaten om me te motiveren tijdens mijn studie, om me te troosten bij verdriet en bij tal van andere gelegenheden. Deze persoonlijke voorbeelden illustreren hoe een enkel citaat  je perspectief en zelfs je gedrag kan veranderen.

Let's, therefore, list the ways quotes can enrich your life.

1. Quotes Comfort

A quote can express a feeling you struggle with and feel alone in. The relatability of the quote can then provide comfort. I find this one by Isabel Allende quite beautiful: "The biggest problem with people today is that they are afraid of suffering, so afraid of losing something. We have forgotten that loss is a part of life." Also, you can find solace in quotes about resilience and hope, which remind you of how others have overcome similar experiences. This quote by Nelson Mandela, for example: "The greatest glory in life lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

2. Quotes Motivate

A quote can motivate you to maintain a habit or pursue your goals. Maybe you need motivation to study for an exam or to go to the gym. This quote by Mark Twain might then help: "The secret of getting ahead is getting started." And when you hang such a quote somewhere visible, so you're confronted with it every day, it works as an affirmation or mental support.

3. Quotes Offer a New Perspective

A quote can prompt you to see something from a different angle. Sometimes you're so down in the dumps that you can't see anything positive anymore. Then this quote by Martin Luther King might help: "Only in the darkness can you see the stars." It gives you a new perspective on the difficult situation you're in and challenges you to see it not only as an obstacle but also as an opportunity to learn and grow.

4. Quotes Provide Insight

A quote can help you achieve something on a deeper level. For instance, I recently heard someone say: "better done than perfect." For a perfectionist, this might initially seem counterintuitive, but it can also lead to the insight that perfection actually leads to the opposite, namely that your quest for perfection becomes an obstacle to progress and completion. This quote can then lead to a more productive attitude, allowing you to derive more satisfaction from completed tasks and the process itself rather than just focusing on an unattainable ideal of perfection.

5. Quotes Inspire

A quote can inspire you to experience new things or tackle matters differently. Perhaps you're looking for some inspiration to find the right job in your life or to break out of your stagnant job. Then this quote by Confucius might inspire you: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life."

6. Quotes Improve Your Mood

Quotes can also be funny, and in that case, they can significantly improve your mood. How about this one: “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished." - Groucho Marx

In Conclusion

Quotes are a fantastic tool to give your mental well-being an extra boost. What quotes have helped you? Do you have a favorite quote or a favorite author? Or are there other ways quotes have helped you that I haven't mentioned? Share it below.

Teleurstelling als kracht

The Power of Disappointment: 6 Steps to Turn Disappointment into Strength

Brenda Casteleyn

"Desire is the mother of disappointment." - Alexander Pola

I recently launched my third book. Although many had registered via LinkedIn, Facebook, and email, a flood of last-minute cancellations led to fewer attendees than expected. Naturally, I was initially disappointed, but the positive reactions from those present and the fact that I sold more books than there were guests made up for a lot. Have you ever experienced a similar disappointment? How did you handle it?

With these steps, you can turn your disappointment into strength.

Step 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It's normal to feel upset when things don't go as expected. Maybe you missed an opportunity, a promise was broken, or a goal was not achieved. That hurts. That evening after the launch, I gave myself time to feel and accept the disappointment. This is an essential step to turn disappointment into strength. In my article about 'constructief lijden(constructive suffering) I explain why it's so important to allow and give space to sadness and negative feelings.  

Step 2: Explore Your (Limiting) Beliefs

Take a moment to reconsider your expectations. Were they realistic? Could I really have expected my launch to turn into a large event that was more crowded than my previous launches? Tony Robbins, now a famous speaker in stadiums, started with events for an audience of three people. So, I had to accept that growth takes time and that it's okay to start small.

Step 3. Redefine Your Goals and Expectations

Now that you've adjusted your beliefs, you can also redefine your goals and expectations. Instead of focusing on the number of attendees, I chose to appreciate what went well: the quality of the interactions and the feedback. This helped me revise my goals and focus on what's really important: the impact of my work and sharing insights.

Step 4: Build Resilience and Perseverance

With adjusted goals and expectations, you can now continue with renewed resilience and perseverance. Like Thomas Edison, who experienced many failures before his breakthrough, I saw this experience as a valuable insight on the way to my ultimate goal.

Step 5: Create a New Strategy

You now have enough motivation to work out a new strategy. In my case, that meant focusing on the power of 'butterfly effects' or starting small. Instead of fixating on the number of readers or followers of my author's page (which, by the way, has increased tenfold in the last three months), I can now focus on a real connection with readers.

Step 6: Improve Your Self-Image

Finally, use the experience of disappointment to develop gratitude for what you have learned and pride in how you handled it. The experience has already helped me to move forward with renewed strength and confidence.

In Conclusion

Disappointment can be painful, but it is also a powerful tool for growth and development. By embracing these feelings and learning from them, you transform yourself in ways you never thought possible. Often, the seeds of future success and happiness lie at the core of disappointment.

What setbacks have you had to deal with? How did you handle them?

Kerst of oudjaar alleen

7 Tips for Celebrating Christmas and New Year When You're Alone.

Brenda Casteleyn

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” – Robin Williams

These days can be challenging if you are alone or missing someone. However, there are ways to get through them unscathed. Here are 7 tips for celebrating Christmas and New Year's Eve alone.

Tip 1. Go for a Walk or Do a Solid Workout

Start with a brisk walk or engage in some sports. Not only is it healthy, but it also improves your mood. Choose a beautiful natural area for your walk, or surprise yourself by blindly picking a spot on the map. This might lead you somewhere new, starting your day with fresh impressions. If a walk is physically challenging, consider a lighter activity like a short walk in your neighborhood or some simple exercises at home. The goal is to keep your body active in a way that is comfortable and refreshing.  

Tip 2. Pamper Yourself

This is the perfect time to pamper yourself. Take a long bath or a warm shower, and make self-care a pampering ritual. Dress in a way that boosts your confidence - whether it's something festive or your favorite comfortable outfit. Also, pamper yourself with food. Prepare a special dinner for yourself with all your favorite dishes, or order something special. And don't forget to give yourself a small gift as a token of self-love.

Tip 3. Make It Cozy

A neat and cozy environment can improve your mood. This doesn't have to mean a big clean-up; sometimes tidying up a few small things can make a big difference. Add some extra atmosphere with candles, soft lighting, or your favorite music in the background.

Tip 4. Choose a Favorite Activity

Whether it's reading a good book, watching a movie or series on Netflix, or listening to your favorite music, make sure you do something you really enjoy. If you're creatively inclined, consider drawing, painting, crafting, or writing.

Tip 5. Do Volunteer Work, Go on a Date, or Seek Contact with People

If you're looking for interaction with others, volunteering is a great way to be meaningfully busy and meet new people. If you're feeling adventurous, try a dating app and see what new connections you can make. Virtual contact with friends or family can also provide a sense of connection.

Tip 6. Cherish Memories and Maintain a Positive Mindset

Take the time to be grateful for happy memories and focus on the positive aspects of your life. This can help you feel more connected to what you're currently missing and focus on the good things you've experienced.

Tip 7. Reflect and Plan for the Future

Use this time of peace and solitude for self-reflection and future planning. Think about what you have achieved in the past year and what your goals are for the coming year. Write down your thoughts and goals in a journal. This can help you process your feelings and map out a positive path for the future. Reflection can also help you realize what's important to you and how you want to shape your life. Creating a vision board or making a list of New Year's resolutions can be an inspiring activity to focus on hopeful and positive aspects of your life.

In Conclusion

We wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. For all those who are spending these days alone or missing someone: lots of hugs and warm thoughts

Benjamin Franklin-effect

Improve Your Relationships with the Benjamin Franklin Effect

Brenda Casteleyn

“Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.” – Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, discovered a fascinating psychological phenomenon: asking for a favor can lead to greater sympathy from the giver. This paradoxical effect, known as the Benjamin Franklin Effect, remains relevant today in our daily interactions, from personal relationships to professional environments.

Historical Context: How Franklin Discovered It

Franklin stumbled upon this effect after borrowing a rare book from a political rival. Remarkably, this improved their relationship. This anecdote not only provides insight into Franklin's personal relationships but also illustrates a larger psychological principle that continues to be studied.

Understanding the Benjamin Franklin Effect

Understanding the concept of 'cognitive dissonance' is crucial to grasping the Benjamin Franklin Effect. When one helps another, the brain seeks a reason for this behavior. If you wish to assist someone whom you previously viewed negatively, it helps to adjust your opinion of that person somewhat positively to maintain consistency. We sometimes think that we do good for people we like. But the Benjamin Franklin Effect also means the opposite, namely that we come to like people for whom we do something good.

Of course, asking for help can also be seen as a compliment because you acknowledge that someone can do something better than you.

How to Utilize the Benjamin Franklin Effect

When you ask your employees for advice, it can lead to a better working relationship because the employee feels valued. But even if you ask your friends to help you move, it can strengthen your bonds. Or consider neighbors who ask each other for help and how it strengthens the social fabric of the community. Even businesses use it to make customers more loyal: they ask their customers for feedback on customer service. But today, with the numerous surveys, the request for feedback may have gone a bit overboard. This can, of course, have a counterproductive effect. Asking for help has also become a useful tool in online communities and social media. And even among business competitors, seeking help can lead to fruitful collaborations.

But be aware, this effect can also be used for clever marketing. For example, there have been marketing campaigns, such as those by Lays Chips, where customers are invited to give their opinion on a new flavor, leading to increased engagement and a more positive perception of the brand, ultimately resulting in more sales.

Do You Sometimes Struggle to Ask for Help from Someone? Consider that the Benjamin Franklin Effect may lead to a better relationship with that person.

Recommended Reading: David McRaney, You Can Beat Your Brain, How to turn your enemies into friends, how to make better decisions and other ways to be less dumb, 2013.