"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” – Japanese proverb

Is your child struggling with performance anxiety? Or perhaps you yourself are grappling with fear of failure, be it for a job application or an exam? I'd like to share some effective tips with you. Overcoming performance anxiety is a journey, but with the right strategies and tools, significant progress can be achieved. Here are 7 tips to combat fear of failure:

Tip 1: Document Your Fears

Don't ignore your fear of failure; instead, face it by jotting down what specifically scares you. Writing it down demystifies it, transforming it from a looming Sword of Damocles into something more manageable. To assist your child with this, encourage them to write down their fears and symbolically dispose of them by either burying or burning the paper. You can also guide your child in rephrasing these fears into more positive thoughts. Instead of thinking, 'I'm going to mess this up,' encourage them to think, 'I'll do my best, and that's good enough.' (See also Tip 5)

Tip 2: Focus on the Journey, Not Just the Destination

Don't just fixate on the end goal—'I must succeed'—but pay attention to the journey that leads there. If you dive into studying while preoccupied with the outcome, you're not truly engaging with the material, and your focus suffers. Immerse yourself in the subject matter and find a way to enjoy it. After all, the outcome is a byproduct of the process, and you have to engage with that process. To help your child, think of creative ways to make studying more enjoyable. How can they interact with the material in a fun way? Consider techniques like mindmapping or using colors to highlight important portions of the material.  

Tip 3: Train Under Stress Conditions

If you are afraid of failing because you're worried you won't be ready in time, you can practice to overcome that fear. Set your alarm clock and complete an exercise under time pressure. You can make it a game with your child, gradually reducing the time limit so that your child experiences success and notices improvement. If your child has trouble concentrating, you can also practice by adding distractions. Have them complete an exercise while the radio is playing, turning it into a challenge.

Tip 4: Offer Strong Support

Your child will perform better in a calm and secure environment—this is a given. Emotional well-being is crucial for optimal performance. Hence, as a parent, it's vital to provide not just a safe haven but also consistent positive reinforcement. Engage with your child to discuss their fears and experiences, while providing reassurance, motivation, and encouragement. If you're dealing with performance anxiety yourself, make it a priority to be around individuals who uplift you rather than drag you down.

Tip 5: Monitor Your Mindset

You might be prone to negative thinking, such as "I can't do this" or "I'm terrible at math." Replace these thoughts with empowering ones like "If someone else can do it, so can I" or "I may not be the best, but I can be above average." This tip significantly helped me. For instance, I was awful at sports and games. After some private practice, however, I managed to outperform my detractors. This initial success prompted me to apply the same principle in other areas, like drawing, another skill I had to work on. Since then, I'm convinced that anything is achievable with enough focus, care, and motivation.

Tip 6: Prioritize Calm Preparation

Your mental state is crucial when it's time to perform. Last-minute cramming will only increase stress levels, as those final moments aren't sufficient for absorbing new information. Instead, focus on calming techniques to strengthen your mental resolve. Breathing exercises, singing, or engaging in light conversations can help. Visualizing a successful performance the night before can also provide a mental edge, as your brain struggles to differentiate between reality and imagination. visualisatie.

Tip 7: Adopt Specialized Strategies When Required

If you or your child has a learning or behavioral disorder like ADD or ADHD, performance anxiety may be exacerbated by these conditions. Implement specialized strategies that cater to these specific needs. Techniques that enhance concentration, such as breaking tasks into smaller chunks, can be particularly helpful. Effective coping strategies can equip you to face challenges, even with a disorder.

In Conclusion

Remember that performance anxiety, like all fears, is a mental construct. It can be managed with the right psychological techniques. If self-help doesn't work, consider hypnotherapy. I have personally used self-hypnosis techniques successfully throughout my academic career. If you're interested in hypnosis for yourself or your child, I highly recommend seeking the help of a qualified coach for help.